Monday, September 12, 2011

missing piece

Have you ever wondered how it is that we become what we have become and not what we actually hoped we would be? But then we would have to answer the question, what was it exactly that we wanted to be? That is a fairly difficult question to answer. When I was young I wanted to be a doctor. Until I discovered that it involved a lot of blood and internal organs. Then I wanted to become a nun. But when I went to a nunnery, i could not stand the sound of silence. Then I discovered a whole new world filled with colors and shapes that have been intertwined. It came with a blazing rebel sign. It looked so attractive to me. I wanted it to belong to me so much. I wanted to be different. But I kind of ended up a bit messed up.

Since we can always start again, I might be choosing to start the slate anew. This time when I pick up pieces if I do have broken pieces, I will carefully turn them on all sides just to see if this is one particular bit that I'd like to put back inside me. So when I put together pieces and become whole again, I can make sure that I have a bit of the old (not necessarily just the good ones, even the "bad" ones that I want) and still have room for new, unexplored slices and shapes that I can wield and master.

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